ICUintern

 My last day I journaled about my two weeks of senior project. I saw a lot and went through a ton of emotions and I am so grateful of the experience I had at the ICU. I just started writing down the craziest things I saw, to some of the sadder moments. I think this was a good way for me to help process the past two weeks and really take the time to gather my thoughts before sharing my senior project in depth with our proctor community. 

 On Monday I did an hour of research on nursing school and what to expect. I know that it will be hard work but it something I'm really passionate about. I know its different at every college for when you start clinical so I will be starting mine my sophomore year. Having the experience in the ICU has definitely prepared me at least a little bit for what my clinical will be like and I have had the experience of a stressful work environment over the past two weeks. Talking to some of the nurses throughout my two weeks was very helpful and comforting hearing that nursing school was incredibly hard, but is very rewarding now. 

          So far this week was just as good and maybe even better than the first week. I went into the ICU Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and I stayed longer than I had the week before just because there was a lot going on. I think this week gave be a better look at what its like being an ICU nurse and the best day was Tuesday when I was shadowing a 22 year old nurse because she had just graduated from college and had only been working for a year. I was able to connect with her better and she talked to me more about what her experience with nursing school was like and then she talked a lot about her first year as an ICU nurse.          The two main things Madi talked about most on how to stay balanced in life while working in the ICU was working out and having a meal plan for the week. Being in such a stressful environment the entire day or night is a long 12 hours and its draining. The days you have off are very important to get rest but to also get some exercise to release endorphins

 On Saturday, I watched a short documentary on Netflix called Extremis which is filmed in an ICU. This film was kind of hard to watch because it showed more of the sad side of the ICU, and the tough family talks. The main doctor was very negative and talked very negatively and with no hope that any of these people would live. However people can survive after being in the ICU, even if it's a low percentage of people. When the hard conversations were being had with families you could see the raw emotions and it gave you a better perspective on how the family feels and it makes you feel like if this were happening to your mother or father, your brother or sister, a spouse, or anyone who is very closely connected to you. It's the hard part of being an ICU nurse, but after my two weeks that didn't change my interest in potentially working in the ICU. 

 On Friday I spent some time researching on respiratory therapist. There was always one RT on the floor going around to every patients room and they are in charge of checking in on everything respiratory related to the patient. This could mean checking a patients trach or what exactly is helping the person breath. I wanted to learn more about what RT's do because I didn't shadow one. The main job of an RT is to manage the patients ventilator, do diagnostic blood sampling, and bronchoscopy assistance. RT's regulate more things but while researching on friday those were the most talked about in the job of an RT. I don't think I could see myself becoming a respiratory therapist, but I think it is a very cool job.

 On Thursday I didn't go into the ICU and instead I went on a hike. Some of the nurses I shadowed talked a lot about physical health like being able to get in exercise when they aren't working because being in the ICU is a stressful environment and can be sad at times. Exercises is a great way to release endorphins, and it also helps your cardiovascular health. Throughout my two weeks I saw some people with cardiovascular related problems and those people tended not to have the healthiest living habits, so I decided to do something to benefit my physical health after a stressful two weeks. I hiked Mt Kearsarge and I spent a lot of time at the top and the fresh air was so nice after being inside the past two weeks. After the hike I definitely felt better mentally and I actually felt less drained after the hike than before.

  Today I shadowed a nurse named Tori and she had two patients. One is a man who is very sick with covid, and he might not make it because he hasn't been making much progress. His wife scheduled a family meeting for today which Tori told me they may talk about letting him go which is very sad. Her other patient was a women who is battling cancer and is also just critically ill. I'm not exactly sure what her main reason for being in the ICU is but she is very very sick. Her husband has been with her every single day and whenever I am there he is always there too. I can tell how much he loves her and although he is trying to stay positive the nurses have said how he's gotten much sadder over the course of the past two weeks. Seeing him so sad was probably one of the hardest things for me to see these past two weeks because all of this doesn't really hit you until you see the patients family and how its affecting them. 

 Tuesday this week was by far my favorite day and I ended up spending 7 hours there because of how much was going on. I was shadowing a nurse named Madi and she had two patients. One with a GI bleed, and the other who had blood in his lungs and was coughing up blood. One of the guys got his breathing tube out and he was a really funny old man despite the pain he was in. Before his breathing tube came out they did an endoscopy on him which I got to watch which was pretty cool being able to see inside his lungs where the bleeding had been occurring. On the other patient with the GI bleed, they let me take his electrolyte sample, take out his cardiac catheter that went through his neck, and take his blood sugar. Although its interesting to just shadow it was nice to actually be able to do stuff today. 

 On Monday I went into the hospital for a few hours and it was probably the least eventful out of all my days. Both patients were sedated pretty heavily and couldn't talk or open their eyes and there wasn't much for the nurse to really teach me. One of the patients was in liver failure, and not doing too great. From what the nurse was saying this women really has no liver left and it would be very hard for her to recover from this which is sad. Other than that nothing else really happened this day.

          This week I definitely experienced some things that I have never experienced before within the medical world. Growing up I always knew that I wanted to be a nurse and when I got this opportunity to shadow nurses at Dartmouth I was super excited. There are so many different paths you can take in nursing that I was kind of overwhelmed with my options, but having some exposure to the ICU has made me realize I could possibly want to be an ICU Nurse.           Something I wanted to share about my week that isn't really talked about much was how mentally draining it was just being in the ICU. You have to prepare yourself to see anything, but somethings you just can't prepare for like seeing someone who has pass away. Yes this week was draining, but I am also not even in college yet and I think that through my years at college I will be well prepared for long shifts. Again thats another thing to get used too, but so far I have really enjoyed and found the ICU very interestin

 Today I went home so I didn't spend a lot of time on my project however I did spend an hour reading about alcoholics and what makes them more susceptible to liver failure. I also took time to rest and get ready for another week at the ICU and I will be spending more time there than I did this week which will be good, but also very draining. 

 On Friday I wasn't scheduled to go into the ICU so I spent most of my day doing research on what I saw and learned throughout the week. While I was there I didn't take notes or anything because there really wasn't enough time for that, but I tried to remember most things. I took a look into the drug problems specifically in New Hampshire considering throughout the week there were a few patients who had overdosed on drugs. I didn't realize how big on an issue hard drugs are here in New Hampshire and its very sad. I also looked into more on organ failure, specifically liver failure. The patient I was with at the beginning of the week, like I mentioned, is having liver failure. To see this young women so sick from it made me curious about the different effects liver failure has on your body. 

 Today I was supposed to go to Dartmouth hospital again for my last day of the week in the ICU. As I was driving down the road from school at around 6:00am I almost fell asleep so I turned around and came back to school. I realized that the past three days drained me physically and emotionally because I was in such a different environment so abruptly. With that being said I also realized so far that I might potentially like working in the ICU because it's very stimulating and there is always stuff going on. To get hours for the day I babysat Kelly's kids because part of nursing also has to do with taking care of people. Along with this I also worked out which released endorphins for me and it lessened my stress that was built up throughout the week. 

 On Wednesday I shadowed the resource nurse. A resource nurse helps with every single patient and provides extra help for nurses and their patients especially rotating the patient. I got to watch 5 nurses supinate a Covid patient, which mean they turn him onto his back. I also helped a nurse reposition a patient so I held onto his body while the nurse stuffed pillow onto one side. Also the guy who overdosed on Monday was ruled out brain dead so yesterday they were figuring out which organs he could donate and they think he can donate every single organ but his lungs. There was another old man who is suffering really badly from pneumonia and it was sad to see him so weak. He is so tiny and fragile that he broke a few ribs at some point in the day and it could've been when he was being repositioned. The lady with liver failure had been pulling at her trach all night so it was bleeding a little bit yesterday. 

 Today I was in the same ICU that I was in yesterday and I shadowed Morgan the same nurse as I did yesterday which was super nice. Unlike yesterday, today was way less stressful of a day and nothing crazy really happened. Morgans patient, a women who is dealing with liver failure, was sleeping for the majority of the morning. This past month the patient hasn't been sleeping much at all during the night mostly because nurses and doctors have to come in every hour. However the physical therapist came in to test her strength and range of motion which was cool. The patient is incredibly weak and very small due to lack of nutrition. She is fed through a feeding tube so she is given the nutrition she needs but she's not putting on weight because she is pooping almost a liter everyday. 

 Today was my first day shadowing in the ICU at Dartmouth-Hitchcock hospital in Hanover NH and it was super interesting. The nurse I shadowed was only assigned one patient instead of two for the day because of how critical of condition her one patient was in. Her patient was a 37 year old female who went into liver failure a month ago. She has Jaundice due to her liver failure which makes her skin yellow including her eyes. Her stomach is very large due to all of the fluid in her stomach and lungs, and she is not able to urinate or poop so she has a colostomy bag. When she first arrived at the hospital a month ago they had her in a lot of sedation, but she is almost completely off of sedation now. Also while I was there the ICU I was in was getting a new patient who had overdosed and gone into cardiac arrest. This man was only 36 years old. They got a pulse back after awhile but his heart rate was in the low 30's upper 20's when I left and the nurses and doctors predicted he wo